i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
