So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
