I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
