eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
