capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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