i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
