Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
