its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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