Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have aggressive nipples.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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