Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
