she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
