We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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