i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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