Betty ford says i'm here all night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Green mimosas i think yes
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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