I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize