There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
50% drunk capacity currently
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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