So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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