All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
