thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We named our party play list daddy issues
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize