I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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