physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
