Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
