Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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