'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
