do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
