Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He has the fingertips of a God
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