Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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