It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
either way he was missing a nipple.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
