SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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