my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize