the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
