i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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