I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
