Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
