I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
