Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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