Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize