Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
