Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
