I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
