wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
