It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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