So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
