The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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