i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
