im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
be right there i have to get my cape
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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