the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
