i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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