shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
