I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
