My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
