I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
