You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you would pick up someone in the library
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
