all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize