I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
