how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
