remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
