she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
