do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
