So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
