Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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