Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
