Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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