she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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