well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
