you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
