you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
