Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
