So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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