her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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