bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
