I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
