Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
